Dang

"A" can't get the dang dashboard to cooperate! Won't give up! Keep in touch!

TMI

OK, so maybe the last post was a little too much TMI but we're all adults here. I know many friends who are suffering from infidelity, two wrongs don't make a right and I have my own conscious to live with so as for me, no extramarital sexual experiences.

Try as You Might

For me, I always expected to reach a point when my life would be stable, but, "NOOOOOOOOOOOh" it changes and expectations change, things change. I "freakin" change! I built my DH "high, way high on a pedistle and find he is nohing but human". I wish he would find full sexual fullfillment in me, but "NO" I have to live the "hell" of infidelity~ nevermind the fact that I have temptations of my own! Sorry MOM XO

Home Sweet Home

Ah, how sweet my own bed felt the morning of August 2 at 2:30 AM as I finally laid my head on my own "feather" pillow with the 100% cotton 200 thread count sheets and pillow cases.

The trip home took us 19 hours as we left Scottsbluff at 7AM MT, few to ATL, circled and circled then bumped and bumped until there were several "pukers" in the crowd, thankgoodness it wasn't me! Storms in ATL caused us to arrive late and we almost had to run to the next plane which of course was on another concourse and at the end! We did get to Orlando on time but then stopped to eat and had an hour and a half drive home.

Good thing DH is the "boss" as we slept in until 10:30 AM and I drove him to work where he had a brand new truck waiting for him (company truck).

The dogs were so happy to see us that they "peed" the floor but I had my handy dandy swiffer wet jet ready to mop the tile.

I've spent a ton of time trying to catch up on everything online and need to hit the cleaning lady mode and kick some dust bunnies!

Thank God the TS Cris is fizzing out, I just can't handle a hurricane right now!

All added up other than air miles we drove about 1500 miles while out West!

Slow roll to DIA

Bloggin on my way home from WY. We will spend the weekend here at in law's home and then fly home on Tuesday. We'll have to take a four hour ride from WY to Denver early that morning and then fly out about 3ish for home. If we're lucky we'll be in our own bed before Wednesday.

Once I am home I can post some pictures of Yellowstone and tell you more about our trip. Anyone want to help me scrap some of it?

I've got to look for a job real soon! I need to sell some stuff on ebay, and I need to have a garage sale but I've never had one and hate the thought of some pure strangers looking through my stuff.

Advice?

Dog Days of Summer

Well, I do know what heat is and I do know what hummidity is! This place called WY is a sauna! I bought carmex, leg lotion, and eye drops! I'm surviving and enjoying a little down time alone today. Where there's a will there's a way, I finally hooked up DH's laptop to dial up at DMIL's. There both working on a "project"!

DD called from Florida and said she had her first observation in the OR at her school, my old stomping grounds! I was pleased that she met a very old friend of mine, of about 30 years, and Erin introduced herself to Teri. Erin liked the OR but said she's still unsure where she would like to specialize, no problem there, she's got plenty of time to decide. I told E that I would NOT push her into the OR although deep inside I want her to be a minime!

Thanks for checkin' out my blog Cassie, nothing exciting here yet, except I think I can relate to being stuck in Kansas a little better. Feel for ya girl!

The most fun time I've had so far is a day at the lake with BIL an SIL! I got to exercise and swim and enjoy the sun! Lots of BS going on but I ignore it for the most part!

Can't wait to get back to my routine but for now I'm thankful to have a little time without too many demands! DH's class reunion starts Friday night, Oh boy, can't wait!

DH did spring for a scanner so that I can scan DMIL's pictures and get them printed later. What a job, better hop to it!

Utah

OK! Made it all the way to Utah after a 20 hour day of flying and visiting. I slept at least 10 hours last night and DH came in to tell me "they" were all going on a hike. So, I decided I'd better get my behind out of the bed. Found one last half cup of coffee, yes, it's cool enough to drink coffee, Woo Hoo! Checked in on my fav MB's with very little posting! Time's limited. I don't know what we're doing today but we are in the scrapbook capitol of the world and I asked DSIL to please take me somewhere so I can get some pieces of the newer BG lines and see what else gabs me and screams, buy me! I'll be checking out the new chatterbox too!

Anyway, tomorrow AM we trek across the state of Wyoming for the family reunion and then fun days with DMIL.

Internet Friends and MB posts!

Wow, it's kind of like and outpost if you think about it~ In the olden days the cowboys would only see people at the post before going onto the next place! It might be weeks before I get to be really online again! So, it ain't all bad! I wish I had sent Cassie the sand dollars before I left. If I do it tomorrow, I won't have to feel bad. I wish Sachie hadn't gotten that job and had kept up the MB at SG! I want to see who won the June contest~I am in love with Willow Tree Traders, it's such a big group and I am a little weary of being the MB mama at SJ's! I love to lead out and give hints and "stuff" but seems it's not catching on like I'd like! I don't even own or get paid by the company! I do it from the "heart".

I am going to look for a real job when we get home in August. I need one for me! Take my word for it!

I guess in this current society I'd like to see things like a handshake and your word take meaning. Integrity and honesty. Being reliable and turstworthy. I can dream and I can live in my own little dream world. Trust who you are given reason to, extend trust to those you would like to be given trust, and "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!"

I'll be back a bloggin' in August! till them, for Pete sake, somebody read this mess!~

July Update

FFF, ok for Friends, followers, and flakers. No offence please! Just a quickie check in and how de do de from me 2U. I'm going away on vacation soon, very soon! I will miss my computer and my cyber friends who, BTW, are IRL friends! When I get home I will update and catch up. In the mean time, remember when there was not internet? Well, I'm "back in time" I know that i'ts ok and think how cool the people of Cades Cove must have been! Ok, don't know about Cade's Cove? Ah Ha, Keeps ya commin' back. "I'll 'splain later Lucy!"

Try Again!

Please Work!

[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10724;127/st/20060801/e/Flying+Home%21/k/d4e2/event.png[/img]

Trying to post a little ticker hope it's successful or I'll be a little ticked!

Cracker Scraps

For many Americans we are looking forward to celebrating Independence Day! That means like most holidays lots of food. DH will be smoking ribs and chicken on Sunday. Our community will have fireworks on Sunday night. Then as many of you have already discussed, a day of work and off again....
I've decided to make friends with FlyLady. I know I have to shine my sink but better get on track with her sometime today.
I've got a list to do starting at 9:00 AM. I'm going to go stay with three little girls while their mother goes for a job interview. She is a teacher but hates to leave her kids. Her DH is a coworker of my DH and J had surgery last winter for an acoustic neurona which is brain surgery. He has a seventh nerve palsy that causes one side of his face to droop. It has been a real adjustment for the family, bottom line is, mom's decided to go back to work since the littlest one is going to Kindergarten this year.
Sorry I've been laying low but life has been throwing me a lot of curve balls and they have mainly come from my male offspring child.
Only two more weeks until we go to WY. To scrap or not to scrap? I'll go crazy out there if I have nothing to do! I'd better throw in some kits to take along!
I've decided to fake it until I make it! I'm going to take the bull by the horns and get on with my life even if some stupid little kid (dS) tries to wreck it constantly.
I am almost finished a mini matchbook album of baby bunny "Bertie". I'll post it in the gallery today or tomorrow.
Our house has no groceries, can you believe I ate a can of garbanzo beans yesterday? Half for lunch, half for supper. It's not that we can't afford food it's just I was pure lazy! I do have to get some diet coke in this house TODAY!
I plan to finish Traci's "Favorite Travel Places" in time to mail tomorrow.
DD is coming home from school tomorrow for a couple of days but she too has to be in school Monday, summer school is such a crunch.
DH's schedule was changed and he is in the Keys right now. I expect that he'll be home early Friday afternoon. I didn't get to go because he flew and the company doesn't pay for the wife to go along. If we drove the company truck that would be a different story.

Nice Blog, Be Nice and post a NIce Blog

If I should die before I wake I thank myself for this time I take. I hate to leave so much negative stuff floating on the top of my Blog! I'm going to say some nice things even if I have to make them up! Really, I can think of a few nice things!

Life is tough but without struggle there can be no victory! I feel that I am getting stronger every day since my big "WHAM" in the face, whenever it was, let's not count the days!

So, I am thankful in my trials that God entrusts me with them as I believe His promise that He will not give us more than we can bear. Man, it sure does feel like it sometimes.

Ongoing troubles with Mr. Hot Stuff 19 year old who knows it all!

DD is currently my "golden child" she's coming home Friday for the weekend! I'm so happy. I'm going to bed early tonight because I want to be well rested and carpe diem or whatever that fish term is. I know a gold fish is a carp isn't it?

I love rain, I love thunder and lightening storms, I love hurricaines as long as they're only little ones. It's like God's way of saying, I am in charge of things here! I feel a cozy sleep coming on tonight. I hear the Nigh Night train blowin' it's whistle.

Blog THIS~~~

OK, I really am thinking of deleting this whole "blog" thing except that once in a while, like a comment from Bev, it's worth it all!

I've been silent as my mom taught me, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"! Well, life ain't all nice now is it? (Go, grr, get me V for poor English grammar!)

I cleaned and straightend and organized my entire Scrap, huhum, Studio today and still have to organize my pictures. Thank goodness I RAKed most of my stickers! What a pain! How times change!

OK, really just checking in to let you, yes you, know I am still alive and well, alive!

CAS! I still have the starfish and a newpaper article, don't give up on me!

My Scrap Studio is scrumpdeliscious!

"Southerners Will Believe Anything"

OK, so what's with this? Today Ms "V" posted this line of horse shit:

Do you remember SCTV with Bob and Doug MacKenzie? I used to tell people in North Carolina that those guys were from Ely (my hometown in MN). I also used to tell people we rode to school on snowmobiles. Those southerners, they'll believe anything.

She's talking about her claim to education at Duke! What the hell is she thinking? I mean she knows where I am from, she knows my Daddy was from Raleigh, doesn't she think before she posts? Does she read what "we" have to say? IMAO she is socialized substandardly!

Ms. "V" eat a Peep and get your groove back!

Me and My Big Mouth!

Sometimes a girl just has to speak up and speak her mind! We've got a nice little group of talented ladies over at the SJ message board. Well, for the past few months we've all been adopting these little eggletts from some techno guys and having fun with it! One of the newest members had this to say:
You guys slay me! I especially love where Lisa says, "That's why I love this group! The women on this MB are just so intelligent!" Cuz this whole "mystery egg" thing is breaking the ol' IQ meter, huh? I think this sort of nuttiness is probably what led to the fall of Roman civilization. One day, you're obsessed with mystery eggs or sic'ing lions on Christians, the next thing, bang, we're in the dark ages. Okay, maybe it's late and I should go to bed now.

Now what the heck does this mean? This person has slipped a brain cell or two! I met her IRL and she was really nice to me when I hurt my back but this is pure crazyness! I just couldn't stop my fingers from flying across the keyboard of my computer. Here is my response:

Well Val, it's just that we are all so highly intelligent members of Mensa that we need a little giddiness to break the stress! Let's see off the top of my head our major posters have degrees in: Law
Engineering and Finance
Engineering
Nursing X3
Accounting (CPA)
Pharmacists
Pilots
Physicians
Veterinarians
Episcopal Priests
Business Women
Cosmetologists--who you gonna trust your hair to?
Bookkeeping for the Sheriff's Department
and the most difficult job without a degree~
Motherhood!

Maybe it's time for me to go to bed! Oh wait, it's only noon! How stupid can I get!

As far as I know she hasn't read this post but I can't wait to see her post! The fall of the freakin' Roman Empire b/c some silly girls have fun waiting for their cyber eggs to hatch! Get a grip!

Thank God for free speech!

For the G Kids

I’ve been meaning to sit down and write to you but I guess it’s harder than I expected it to be.

To say I am so sorry that your sweet daddy died seems so inadequate yet necessary. I am so sorry that you three are going through this terrible experience. I’m sorry for your mother and for all of your children. I know how much it hurts.

First of all, always remember that your dad wouldn’t want you to stop living because he had to. I’m sure he didn’t want to! I know my dad didn’t want to stop living, he just finally had to stop because he couldn’t take the cancer anymore.

Allow yourself time to grieve, when you’re alone let the tears wash away the hurt as the medical types will tell you crying produces some kind of cool body relaxing chemical, right? To me crying has not always come easily, it just isn’t who I am but when the tears come, they have become welcome cathartic tears.

Lean on each other. Cry in your mother’s lap. Your mother knows you best and knows that you are hurting. Your mother needs to know that you still need her. She needs to know what a valuable position she has in your family.

Don’t expect to get back to “normal”. Just take each day as it comes and you will learn to live with this empty spot named “daddy”. Depend on our heavenly Father to fill it. Life will not ever be the same so plan to learn to live your next phase in life. It will get easier and you will feel rhythm to your life once again.

Be careful not to neglect your spouses. Even though they are your best support system and love you dearly, they need you to be you! Remember to keep them as your number one person in your life.

The sting and hurt from the loss of a father leaves you forever changed. Like each big life experience it can’t help but change you in some way. You are changing all the time. This event has just been a more monumental one, a very painful one.

Continue to remember you father. For me it’s writing and making scrapbooks. I’m just about ready to take out the cards from December 2004 and look over them again. It’s ok to put things up until you are ready.

Did you shut your eyes during the picture presentations at your father’s funeral? They were beautiful. I need to tell B and G so. Their tribute to your father was a strong token of expression of their enduring friendship with you. Be thankful for those long time friends. I shut my eyes during my father’s picture presentation. Maybe now I’ll have the strength to look at it.

Things will never be the same again. Don’t expect them to ever be. Things will be better again as you heal ever so slowly from this blow of death. Make your life function in a new way. There are a lot of people who need you and want to be with you. Focus on what you have instead of what you do not have. Focus on what your father gave you and not what the cancer took from you. Love the traits in your father that you see in yourself. Be happy to be the one who shares that trait with others in your family. Let your father’s memory live through you.

Always have clothes clean and ready for a funeral. This is something that I did for many years. Then when my daddy died, I stopped! When your daddy died I needed my “funeral clothes”. Death is not a new concept but it’s new to us as we enter era of our parents aging.

What a tribute each of our father’s had at the church we all love. What a great thing to know what wonderful friends our parents have! Keep coming to D's Picnic in May. We need to see each other once a year if that’s all. It’s a little way of keeping our parents circle alive as the members go to sleep in the Lord.

I don’t claim to be an expert on the process of grief. I only offer you these words as a token of friendship and recent experience. Call me to cry, chat, ask, remember. My heart truly goes out to each of you!

Techno Granny Wannabe

Wow! I can't believe all the neat stuff that people have on their blogs! Music, tons of pictures, blinkies, all the stuff that a granny techno wannabe should learn. Maybe if I tackle one thing a week I can learn how to do this! That way maybe, my brain will remain sharp! I've signed up for classes only to have to give them up due to DH's schedule. Actually, I've dreamed of the day I could be a SAHW and do as I please! Now after spending the past year in pure self indulgence I find that it's not rewarding and need to look for some constructive uses of my time.

I'm feeling the rhythm of life coming back to me. I need to put myself on a schedule as all my working career my schedule was dictated and boy did they work us hard in the operating room! I miss the friendships and the patient interaction but not the grunt work, it's really a physical job! Now that I've quit, they are getting computers in every OR in the country, even small town USA! I was ahead of my time with the computer on the consumer end but now I feel I'm feeling left to byte dust.

Someone tell me where to start!

Momentum

For the past three hours I have been working on establishing a mailing list for a new CJ over at SJ's. I really like to do this sort of thing until I remember how time consuming it is. Sitting in my SJ Jammies looking out at the Atlantic Ocean, why am I inside? I got too much sun yesterday and DH went home.

I'm in the room with DM. It's a comforting place to be. We enjoy the company of one another even if we sit in silence. Mother is so lonely since Daddy went "to Sleep in the Lord" December 8, 2004. We talk about how we miss him and allow ourselves a few tears. Overall we're both doing well. Some days it's me who mother's mama and some days it's mama who mother's me.

Mother is teaching me how to be old. Yes, can you imagine? There are things that neither of us can do physically now, especially since I hurt my back. Mother says I just don't know how to sit and relax. I'm trying but I'd rather be creating something. I miss my scrap room and I'll be glad to get back to scrappin' in a few days. I hope my box of stuff has arrived from Chicago as I need it to get my CJ's out on time!

DH took a whole lot of close ups of me this weekend so now I can choose a new picture for my Circle Journals and for my Avatar. I think I've pulled it off again, looking decent that is!

We're going to Wyoming for three weeks this summer! Three long weeks in the middle of nowhere. We will do some traveling and visiting. I will be taking my "projects" along or else I will go buggers. Now to plan how to streamline the "stuff" take, I always take too much stuff and it makes it hard on everyone especially me having to keep up with all of the stuff!

I've got an obligatory event in June for my friend's daughter's wedding. It's not that I don't want to go but I don't know the crowd and it's a long drive both ways. DM will go with me and allow DH to stay home as it's not really his friend's child. She is an only child so this wedding should be an "all blow out!" It will have good music I am sure as the whole family is very talented!

So, the summer of momentum is upon me. I know it's not until June 21 but it sure feels like it here! The Circle Journal will be getting off the ground. I so hope this one goes without too much trouble. All it takes is for one person to fall behind and it bunches things up. Why and what is a Circle Journal? Ahh, that's for another day.

I need to write about how it feels to be old and not become a crotchetie old nurse suffering from every illness she can think of. Nurses make the worst patients. I don't want to be like that, but I am sure that I already am!

Enough rambling for now. Cas, I'm going to bleach the sand dollars for you and the kids!

Home Sweet Home

It's so good to be home! It has been a long time since I cried because I was homesick but this time I did! The trip to Chicago was exhausting! It was worth every challenge from tripping head first into the concrete sidewalk, to getting "hailed on" while walking to dinner and throwing my back out the night before I flew home!

If anyone watches my blog I just wanted to check in and say they haven't gotten me yet!

I'm off to find Molly and see how she's doing at the "big house"!