Monday, May 14, 2007
Cagon, take me away!
I'm so disappointed. Yes, I am. Maybe it's a good thing~I can concentrate on my own projects! I learned a lot and I think that Bev and I nailed Stacey Julian. Stacey is so much more of a philosophy than someone you can "lift"! Where's the critique? How do I know why and how to improve. Yes, I am disappointed!
Cut the Strawberries into Squares!
here is a reason for my BLOG name! The beach isn't just sun, surf, and sand! There are sandspurs and if you don't know where they are you'll get them in your feet. I know where they grow but once in a while one gets into my foot and it hurts!
This is not going to be a pretty BLOG so bear with me or skip it if you prefer!
While on my trip to Seattle and Texas my DH was roped into planning a 50th birthday party for one of his best friends who also happens to be one of his inspectors. I'm going to call him Bert. Bert has a girlfriend who lives in Orlando where we all used to live before they sent us to this Podunk part of the state to begin paving the planet here. Warning I ramble!
Bert has never been married and for that fact I have never known him to have a steady girlfriend. He is not gay but chose to be unmarried because he has neurofibromatosis which is a genetically linked condition, some know it as elephant man's disease...At any rate. Bert has been dating Dora for about five years now.
Friday AM I had to drive back up to Orlando to "help" prepare for the party! This woman had planned for 50 people. She had already baked brownies, cookies, and ordered a birthday cake.
She had platters of fruit and veggies. Chocolate and Cheese fondue, olives, pickles, crackers, cheese, M$M's, liquor filled chocolates, mints, potato salad, Cole slaw, rolls, baked beans, BBQ chicken she bought at Sonny's and a huge beef smoked brisket that my DH not only bought and paid for but smoked. She got all freaky when I was putting the brisket into the crock pot and using the BBQ sauce I bought and brought for the beef! I said, "don't worry, I'm not using it all, just enough so the brisket won't dry out!
Anyone who knows me knows that I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON! She knows that at chose to get up at 6:30 AM and head out to the grocery store to pick up the cake and whatever! She came home with I swear 10 packages of potato rolls! We already had white and wheat rolls from Sam's club but that was to cut up for the fondue! She looks me straight in the eye and says, "See, this is why I get up early!" I looked her straight in the eye and said, "Dora, I can not get up this early!. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth!
I throw on my jeans and T-Shirt, no shower, no make up, no hair and we jump in the car. We have to haul her two cats in my Lincoln, that I DON'T EVEN LET MY DOGS RIDE IN to a friends house to get them away during the party! Then we go to P/U the chicken, buy about ten16 pound bags of ice, that I get to load into the car b/c she is having a pain! Then we bring them home.
Now we get to the cutting of the strawberries!~ Not only did I sit and cut every known veggie up but got to learn how to entertain! LOL! Where does she think I was raised, on a farm? OK, she runs the fork the length of the cucumber and says, "I'm going to show you how to make cucumbers decorative", biting my tongue at this point, slicing the cukes as ordered, my tongue is dripping blood.
Now, the strawberries. "Cut them in quarters, they're big!" OK, so I cut the first quart into quarters. NOT LIKE THAT SQUARES!' Well, I still don't quite know how you make squares out of strawberries but I guess she got the picture or I did it right because it's quiet now.
The time is pushing 3:00 PM and I'm still cutting bread and pound cake and angel food cake....I said, "Dora, when do I get some primp time?" She said, I could be excused! I am not a fast primper either!
I iron my skirt and shower, shave, blow my hair dry, curl it... you know the drill and dress for the pretense that we are going to RUTH CHRIS to celebrate not only Bert's 50th birthday but DH and my 16th wedding anniversary! All this for a party that reminds me of a half breed poodle mixed with a pit bull!
Oh, I'm not sorry that I've vented this fiasco, I've left out many details that just basicly fried my ass to get done with this. This is the land of the free and the home of free speech and I don't mean to offend anyone. To my knowledge neither of these parties knows what a blog is or even cares about the internet! Except Bert does like porn! I also won't go into the details about Dora complaining that Bert has been with the company longer than others yet gets paid less because he is not a good test taker and has street knowledge that should be recognized. Doesn't she have the sense to know that we can't put people on jobs that require certifications that they don't have because they aren't good "test takers"! I shut my bosses wife mouth up!
This is my last remark, for this post, I promise! The thing that hurt me the most was finding "A Year in Review" Scrapbook with a custom cover that I made Dora for Christmas stuck on the top shelf in the bedroom where DH and I stayed. That is the last thing I will ever make her. From now on I think I'll regift the dollar store special's she gives me!
TACKY~TACKY~TACKY!
This is not going to be a pretty BLOG so bear with me or skip it if you prefer!
While on my trip to Seattle and Texas my DH was roped into planning a 50th birthday party for one of his best friends who also happens to be one of his inspectors. I'm going to call him Bert. Bert has a girlfriend who lives in Orlando where we all used to live before they sent us to this Podunk part of the state to begin paving the planet here. Warning I ramble!
Bert has never been married and for that fact I have never known him to have a steady girlfriend. He is not gay but chose to be unmarried because he has neurofibromatosis which is a genetically linked condition, some know it as elephant man's disease...At any rate. Bert has been dating Dora for about five years now.
Friday AM I had to drive back up to Orlando to "help" prepare for the party! This woman had planned for 50 people. She had already baked brownies, cookies, and ordered a birthday cake.
She had platters of fruit and veggies. Chocolate and Cheese fondue, olives, pickles, crackers, cheese, M$M's, liquor filled chocolates, mints, potato salad, Cole slaw, rolls, baked beans, BBQ chicken she bought at Sonny's and a huge beef smoked brisket that my DH not only bought and paid for but smoked. She got all freaky when I was putting the brisket into the crock pot and using the BBQ sauce I bought and brought for the beef! I said, "don't worry, I'm not using it all, just enough so the brisket won't dry out!
Anyone who knows me knows that I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON! She knows that at chose to get up at 6:30 AM and head out to the grocery store to pick up the cake and whatever! She came home with I swear 10 packages of potato rolls! We already had white and wheat rolls from Sam's club but that was to cut up for the fondue! She looks me straight in the eye and says, "See, this is why I get up early!" I looked her straight in the eye and said, "Dora, I can not get up this early!. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth!
I throw on my jeans and T-Shirt, no shower, no make up, no hair and we jump in the car. We have to haul her two cats in my Lincoln, that I DON'T EVEN LET MY DOGS RIDE IN to a friends house to get them away during the party! Then we go to P/U the chicken, buy about ten16 pound bags of ice, that I get to load into the car b/c she is having a pain! Then we bring them home.
Now we get to the cutting of the strawberries!~ Not only did I sit and cut every known veggie up but got to learn how to entertain! LOL! Where does she think I was raised, on a farm? OK, she runs the fork the length of the cucumber and says, "I'm going to show you how to make cucumbers decorative", biting my tongue at this point, slicing the cukes as ordered, my tongue is dripping blood.
Now, the strawberries. "Cut them in quarters, they're big!" OK, so I cut the first quart into quarters. NOT LIKE THAT SQUARES!' Well, I still don't quite know how you make squares out of strawberries but I guess she got the picture or I did it right because it's quiet now.
The time is pushing 3:00 PM and I'm still cutting bread and pound cake and angel food cake....I said, "Dora, when do I get some primp time?" She said, I could be excused! I am not a fast primper either!
I iron my skirt and shower, shave, blow my hair dry, curl it... you know the drill and dress for the pretense that we are going to RUTH CHRIS to celebrate not only Bert's 50th birthday but DH and my 16th wedding anniversary! All this for a party that reminds me of a half breed poodle mixed with a pit bull!
Oh, I'm not sorry that I've vented this fiasco, I've left out many details that just basicly fried my ass to get done with this. This is the land of the free and the home of free speech and I don't mean to offend anyone. To my knowledge neither of these parties knows what a blog is or even cares about the internet! Except Bert does like porn! I also won't go into the details about Dora complaining that Bert has been with the company longer than others yet gets paid less because he is not a good test taker and has street knowledge that should be recognized. Doesn't she have the sense to know that we can't put people on jobs that require certifications that they don't have because they aren't good "test takers"! I shut my bosses wife mouth up!
This is my last remark, for this post, I promise! The thing that hurt me the most was finding "A Year in Review" Scrapbook with a custom cover that I made Dora for Christmas stuck on the top shelf in the bedroom where DH and I stayed. That is the last thing I will ever make her. From now on I think I'll regift the dollar store special's she gives me!
TACKY~TACKY~TACKY!
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